Daphne's Adventures

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Reason #14 Why My Job Sucks
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
You'd think nothing would come out of asking fraud inquiries from your client right?


Me: Have you been pressured to record a transaction which was not proper, or record a journal entry which did not reflect the actual nature of the transaction?

Client response: Yes, but nothing material and more conservative if not precise.


Me: Do you understand the Company's policy with respect to reporting a potential fraudulent or illegal act?

Client response: I'd have to say no, I'm not sure exactly. We might have an ethics hotline?



posted by Daphne @ 10:46 AM   0 comments
Colters' Woman on Book Binge and New Reviews Soon!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Hey all. Holly and I did a joint review of Colters' Woman by Maya Banks on Book Binge. Go check it out.

Also stay tuned for my next guest blogger appearance on BB as I review all four books in the Psy/Changeling series by Nalini Singh (my new favorite series). Probably next weekend after my exam. I'm very excited since I'm absolutely addicted to this series.

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posted by Daphne @ 4:49 PM   0 comments
A worse crime than gas prices
Wednesday, May 21, 2008

So I tried Pinkberry for the first time this month and have already been back about three more times in less than two weeks. Not because I love it, but because I seem to be hanging out with different people who have each suggested going there. If you're wondering what Pinkberry is-think trendy Golden Spoon that serves tart yogurt, in a store with bright colored plastic chairs and modern decor, and shelves of useless asian household items that look like toys. For inexplicable reasons, I am drawn to this place, and it's driving me nuts that I'm contributing to the growing success of this chain, when I can think of several reasons why this place is sorta lame.

Let me start off by saying that I actually like the yogurt. It's a unique taste- sorta tart, but cool and refreshing. Or if you wanna go by the description on their website... it's "soft swirls of chilly bliss with a distinct pouty peak." It's also light for a dessert (half a cup is about 70 calories). You can eat a large and not feel like you've just consumed a double fudge chocolate cheesecake. Plus the toppings are pleasing to the eye- kiwis, strawberries, bananas, etc. They make it look fresh, but who knows, they can be out of a frozen bag. You can also put captain crunch, granola, fruity pebbles, and almonds. And it's simple- three flavors of yogurt to choose from: original, coffee, and green tea. But here's where it starts to score negative points. You'd think coffee flavored yogurt would taste like it sounds right? Not at Pinkberry. It's still tart. Wtf? Tart coffee? I'm sorry, but that just goes against nature.

Try some coffee Pinkberry. I'm telling you, it's fun. It's like at first you reject it because the concept is so freakin nasty. Then you keep tasting it, as if you want to reconfirm your original assessment, that yes it's freakin nasty. By the third lick, you're half laughing half cringing because the taste is so freakin nasty but not as bad anymore.

Anyway, let's talk about the price. How much does a cup of "chilly bliss" served by a smart-mouthed teenager cost you? I'd say $5/$6 easily. Here's why. A small size is (off the top of my head) $2.50, but each topping is $0.95. Jump to a medium and it's $3.50. The best deal would be the $4.95 medium size which includes three toppings. I went there after lunch today with two coworkers, and we spent $16. Isn't that sad? When I was given the total I did my normal Daphne thing and joked to the cashier saying they were criminals. "Yet people like you keep coming back all the time and we keep growing." Umm okay, apparently homie didn't want to reciprocate the humor in that. I can't believe I got owned by a Pinkberry loser.

My staff is already suggesting we repeat today's Pinkberry adventure tomorrow. He's so obsessed that he even looked 'em up to see if they are franchising. In case you're wondering, no they're not. But I've been thinking.... is this just another fad? Like boba? I think boba died around the time that it was no longer just an "asian thing to do." And remember Krispy Kreme? I swear, once that was brought over to Southern California, we just butchered it. Leave it to Southern Californians to make foods like smoothies (Jamba Juice), donuts (Krispy Kreme), and yogurt trendy. Oh and FYI, Pinkberry is currently only in California and New York. Again, two trendy locations, where you not only have to be trendy in what clothes you wear, car you drive, or music you listen to, but also food. Because God forbid you're caught walking around the shopping district drinking a Juice it Up instead of Jamba Juice.

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posted by Daphne @ 10:53 PM   3 comments
Bowling Fun

Our office had the annual bowling event for charity yesterday. Once again I've proven myself to be a horrible bowler, as evidenced by my newest nickname - Morse Code. Basically that means my scoreboard consists of mostly dashes (i.e. gutter balls). But despite my lack of bowling skills, I had a fabulous time. Even Bitter Bro showed up; the equivalent of a "celebrity guest appearance" in our office. He almost never goes to firm events.

I don't know how often you guys go bowling (I rarely do), but do you ever notice how funny it is to see guys who you'd think would be good but end up sucking at bowling? One of my office crushes, who I like to call Zack Morris, was in the lane next to me. I was pretty excited to have a good view of him during the event, but let me tell you, his bowling style is hilarious. It's like he'd throw the ball, and upon releasing, his body would sorta stagger forward, like he's about to fall. Every single time. Totally cracks me up.

I'm not sure whether to feel like it's cute, or it's scoring him less points on the masculinity scale. Maybe it's the romance reader in me, but even though I don't expect all men to be athletic or good at sports, they have to at least look like they can be good at it. Or am I being too picky? As Bro would always say, "Daphne, three words. Lower. Your. Standards."

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posted by Daphne @ 8:28 AM   2 comments
Of course they're scissors!
Thursday, May 15, 2008

This is my kindergartner's artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought. I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I waited until he was out of the room until I started crying from laughing so hard. WELL, OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS!


posted by Daphne @ 1:50 PM   4 comments
Only My Mother
Monday, May 12, 2008

Would suggest I move out... next door.

I know I say this every year, but I really think this is the year that I'm going to be a homeowner. A few weeks ago my dad and I started house hunting and I almost ended up buying a unit for a newly built condo. I didn't go through with it only because the 2br 2 ba unit I wanted was the last one available and already sold to a couple signing the paperwork (they ended up getting the financing approval too).

Probably a good thing though for it woulda been crazy had I bought something on my first day of house hunting. Anyway, the reason I think this is the year, is not so much that I'm dying to move out, but I just feel that it's time. The market seems to be in a place where it's a good time to buy, I've saved up enough since working the last four years, and my parents want to make another investment for tax benefit purposes.

But only my mother would suggest this bogus idea, to live next door. I guess my neighbors are moving out, and have had an open house sign for quite some time. We initially knew their selling price was over half a million, and well, that's just too darn much. I stopped seeing the open house sign and apparently the decision is now in the hands of the bank who will choose the highest bidder. The highest bid right now is $440k. So here comes my mom rushing in the house to inform me she just spoke to the neighbor...

Mom: Daphne. I think we should buy our neighbor's house.

Me: What? I'm not living next door.

Mom: Why not? You already live in the next room.

Me: Mom, that's different. I'm not going to move out only to live next door.

Mom: Why? It's a good place to raise your kids and start a family. Plus when you have kids it will be easier for us to help babysit.

Me: Dude, I'm not going to have kids any time soon. I'm not even dating.

And so on it went. I mean, I kind of get what she's saying in the long run... but dude. It's Next. Door. You know I'll end up having no privacy, so what's the point in moving out then? N. O. Not going to happen. They can buy the place if they want, but I'd rather rent it out and continue living here than tell everyone that "I'm moving out" and later confess it's next door.


posted by Daphne @ 9:14 PM   6 comments
Feeling Guilty
Friday, May 09, 2008
Today is my dad's birthday, and it's mother's day weekend. But right now I'm totally annoyed with both of them. Horrible, I know.

Let's start with dad. Okay I've been on "vacation" all week, but I'm not really out of town. This week was supposed to be my study week, but I ended up working all day Monday/Tuesday and a little Wednesday morning. Wednesday I was pretty tired mid afternoon so I took a nap. Dad comes home at 5, sees that I'm asleep and goes "Oh you're on vacation? Why aren't you studying? When's your test again?"

Oh you did not just say that to me. What, you think that I've been bumming around all day sleeping? I'll have you know that at 7:30am I was already studying, watching 4 hour lecture videos about pensions and leases and other boring crap. You think I LIKE having to use my vacation time to study? Why would I waste my vacation time like that and then not do anything all day.

Then there's mom. So she and dad decided to take today off so they could hang out in LA for dad's birthday. Mom asks if I want to go. No thanks, I need to study, and besides, I wasn't aware of these plans. I know we're supposed to do dinner for dad's birthday, but that's it. And she proceeds to give me that "oh okay" look (but inside she's all upset that I'm not going). Hello! Would you have been upset if I was at work like a normal work Friday? I don't think so. Geez. Then she asks if I can coordinate dinner plans with my brother and his gf. I ask her if she and dad have ideas. She says the restaurants in the shopping area they are at in LA. I said okay so we'll meet you there for dinner then? She says no, they'll go home first by midafternoon.

I told her that seemed kind of a hassle to drive down then back up to LA again. So she said fine we'll just eat around our neighborhood. Okay fine by me. I relay the message to brother and gf. Dinner 7:30 not LA. Mom and dad get home in the afternoon and ask what the plan for dinner is. I said, well pick a place, I have no preference, what does dad want? Now here's typical mom response: Well whatever you kids want. Okay fine then, I'm picking Bucca Di Beppo. Mom: Oh but isn't that in Orange County? Me: Yah so? Mom: I thought you didn't want to drive far that's why you rejected my idea of dinner in LA. Me: No, I just didn't think it made sense for you to come home when we could've driven up there to meet you for dinner. Mom: Oh well, ummm Bucca? How about Woodranch? Me: Okay fine.

Then I take her to the eyebrow lady because she wants to try threading. The lady threads her eyebrows and hands her the mirror afterwards. Mom looks at it, doesn't say anything, and I pay, we leave. In the car...

Mom: So how come she didn't remove some of the hair here so it would be shaped more like this?

Me: Well if you wanted it shaped that way why didn't you say something?

Mom: Well I don't know what shape I want, I just want it to look good.

Me: Well why are you complaining about it now when we already left?

Mom: I dunno. I just assumed it's fine since you didn't say it looked bad.

Me: Yah but mom if you know what you want, just say it. That's why we pay them to do it. Like cutting your hair. You can't just say "make it look good" then complain later when she didn't layer it like you wanted.

I swear I hate her passive aggressive crap. It's like I make a decision and without having to explicity reject it, she implies that she doesn't agree with my idea. I know her game now. She says one thing, and basically she's not asking "well what do you want?" She's really saying "I need your confirmation that you agree with my idea."

Okay that's all. I'm done venting.

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posted by Daphne @ 5:57 PM   3 comments
Auditor Angst
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Since I've been studying like crazy all week, my blogging has taken a backseat. I did however, come across this article that I found quite entertaining and since I can just copy and paste, here it is (with my comments on the side)

Want faster, cheaper audits? Your auditor humbly suggests you avoid last-minute data dumps and other less-than-helpful practices.

Alix StuartCFO Magazine
May 1, 2008

Want to drive your auditors crazy? Try this: First, meet with them ahead of the annual audit and agree on a date when your work papers will be ready. Then, when they arrive for the audit, tell them you're "almost ready" and hand over just enough material to keep them busy until lunch. Repeat as necessary. Later, suddenly remember a contract or revenue-recognition problem that you haven't previously discussed (the more complex, the better). Finally, as the deadline nears, demand a 24-hour turnaround for the 10-K draft and complain loudly when the auditors tell you it can't be done. (So true. story of my life)

This scenario may sound like a joke, but in fact auditors say it's exactly what many CFOs do every year. Michael Deutchman, managing director at Los Angeles–based accounting firm Kabani & Co., says he dreams of walking into a client company where "we can test the records and see right away that they are what they're supposed to be."

But in reality, he laments, "there aren't a lot of CFOs who run companies that way." More often, says Ben Neuhausen, national director of accounting for BDO Seidman, "the client takes forever to pull together documentation, and then they present it three days before audited financials are due to their lender, or a week before the 10-K has to be written. Somehow they think the auditor will work a miracle." (Hmm, it's good to know I'm a miracle worker. Move over Helen Keller)
The miracle is that despite the chronic unreadiness of auditees, the relationship between auditors and their clients is actually improving. Most auditors — more than 60 percent of those recently surveyed by CFO — say they have a better relationship with clients today compared with three years ago, when the pain of Sarbanes-Oxley compliance was still raw. (Yah three years ago, exactly when I first started. If I could go back I woulda done grad school right away to avoid that junk) In part that's due to new interpretations from the Securities and Exchange Commission that loosen the strictures of Sarbox, leading most auditors to feel they can offer more guidance — "the fun stuff," in the words of one senior manager. New guidance about how internal controls must be audited, in the form of Auditing Standard No. 5 (AS5) from the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board (PCAOB), has also made things better.

Still, ask auditors what keeps them awake at night (actually don't ask me) and client-related issues will top their replies. More than half the nearly 100 auditors surveyed by CFO said that unprepared clients create high levels of stress. One-third said the same of clients who are difficult to work with. The hassle from clients, in fact, far outranked other strains, such as the pressure to generate more revenue. (also known as working 60 hour work weeks but only charging 40 to stay in budget)

No one expects a return to the cozy pre-Sarbox days, when auditors were practically an extension of the finance team. But, auditors wouldn't mind a little more cooperation and appreciation. "The ideal situation would be clients who understand their own accounting (sigh, if only) and make the time to get us what we need," says Bruce Rosen, partner-in-charge of assurance services at New York–based auditing firm Eisner. How often does that happen? By way of reply, Rosen laughs — and laughs some more.

If you're interested to read the rest, click here, though I don't see why anyone would be as nuts as me and would actually want to read more.


posted by Daphne @ 8:40 PM   0 comments
Wolfen by Madelaine Montague
Sunday, May 04, 2008
As engrossed as Danika generally is in her work, even she notices the underlying hostility with which the locals in the small northwestern town regard her and her research. She notices the biker gang that arrives shortly behind her even more. With their long hair, tattoos, and piercings, the rough group of bikers aren't the sort of men she's ever had contact with-and shouldn't want to have contact with-but they don't seem to grasp that they're not her type and she isn't theirs.

Being in the erotica category, I guess you can say this was a long but interesting read. Danika is sent to a small town to research the unusual behaviors of wolves terrorizing the residents. Her first day in town and she is confronted by five hunky and intimidating bikers, who she assumes are gang members. She makes her escape to her cabin out by the woods, only to discover that the bikers are taking up residence next door.

What she doesn't know is that all five bikers are actually wolfen, a species of sorta half-human/half-wolf. Not werewolves, mind you. Apparently wolfen are different. Anyway, they too have their reasons for being in a small nowhere town; for they are all alpha males from their own packs, sent by the Council to uncover the rogue wolfen terrorizing the town. Half the town has been infected, but Danika is still safe, and the men intend to keep it that way by guarding her.

The only problem is, each one is attracted to Danika and despite their wolfen laws of no mating with humans, each try to claim Danika as his own. The part that entertained me the most was the fact that you have these tough biker men constantly fighting with each other in the woods to establish who is the best alpha and can therefore claim Danika. Then one by one each of them manage to break the rules and sleep with Danika. Each time too she would suggest a condom and the wolfen would just toss it aside. Ummm yah. I don't think Danika was a prude, but she's described as being kind of a geeky researcher, just a plain Jane. I thought it was hilarious that she would just easily sleep with five different guys.

Now the best part is the ending of the book when surprise, surprise, Danika finds out she's pregnant. The wolfen doctor who examines her says he hears at least three heartbeats, meaning she's carrying a litter of pups. Hah! Who is the father of each pup? No idea. Oh and by pup I mean she's gonna have half-wolfens, so they don't really come out looking like wolves, but when they get older I guess they can go through the transformation like their fathers. So here's the funny part, she gives birth to all three, and each one that pops out, the men would sniff the pup and that's how they know which baby they fathered. So she had three different pups by three different biker men. Hah!

Anyway, this was just a random read, and if I were to rate it on its erotica-ness, not very high actually. It was pretty tame. Storywise it was pretty out there and far fetched, but you know? I sorta enjoyed it. Not sure if you would too, but I'm giving it a 3 out of 5.


posted by Daphne @ 6:36 PM   1 comments
Who Is Daphne?

Name: Daphne
Home: California, United States
About Me: I love to read, especially romance books. I love to play, especially computer games and puzzles. I love to dance, especially lindy hop. I love my family and friends.
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