Daphne's Adventures

but I'm probably an even bigger idiot. Let me explain.

My brother Doug has major issues when it comes to money. "Issues" meaning... he doesn't have any. I swear the guy lives off every single pay check, and it drives me nuts that he's always asking for $20 here, $10 there. I even get the "yah can I borrow twenty bucks because if I get it from the ATM I'll be overdrawn." Hello, you're 27, how can you possibly live like that? It boggles my mind.

Anyway, yesterday he messages me asking for a big favor. Right away I knew it had to be about money. Here's how it went down:

Doug: "So there's this LCD TV I really want but I don't have enough credit available on my credit card, do you have enough to cover $800?"

Me: "Umm, yes."

Doug: "Do you think you can buy it online and I'll go pick it up?"

Me: "Can't Janice get it for you?" (Janice being his gf who he's living with)

Doug: "No, she doesn't have credit cards. And she tried applying for a circuit city card but got denied."

Doug: "So I can pay you back in two checks. One this Friday, the other next Friday."

Me: "So why not just buy it then if you're gonna get paid in two weeks? Is this some kind of special deal that ends today?"

Doug: "No, I'm just not doing anything today and I really want to pick it up."

At this point, I'm furious. I decide to try another tactic and message Janice, who is also online.

Me: "Hey Janice you know anything about my brother buying an LCD? He's asking me to buy it online right now."

Janice: "Oh really? I know he's been wanting one for awhile and I'd rather he hold off, but I have no control over it, if he wants to get it then it's his money."

Okay, no help there.

Me: "Well, I have to let you know that I think this is a really bad idea given that you guys are always strapped for cash. You guys should be using that money for rent. And Doug still owes me $400."

Janice: "$400? For what?"

Me: "Oh this is back from 2005. I wrote him two checks. Whatever, I don't expect to ever get that back."

Janice: "Well I'll make sure he pays you back for the TV and the $400."

Doug: "Oh nevermind, I just found out you can't order online and me pick it up. What time will you be home tonight? We can go to the store and I'm cooking dinner."

Well I'll be damned. It's been 3 months since he moved out and now he decides to invite me over to see his place. Freakin idiot.

Me: "I won't be home until ten, tomorrow I'm busy until ten as well, Thursday I'm having dinner with Nicole."

Doug: "Aww okay. I guess I can wait till next week then."

(30 minutes later)

Doug: "Hey I found the TV on amazon and it's $200 cheaper. Can you buy it for me?"

Me: "Okay, but I'm putting a disclaimer. I am 100% against this purchase and I think you need to be using this money on things you actually need. And if you want to order this online and the tv gets damaged for whatever reason, you're still paying me back or I will hunt you down."

Doug: "Okay, duly noted."

Here's where I'm guessing Janice told him about our conversation earlier because he adds:

Doug: "Hey I realize I'm asking for a lot..."

Me: "It's not about the money, you know that."

Doug: "Yah but I promise I'll pay you back. And I'm hopefully getting this job that will pay me $4k a month (before taxes)."