Daphne's Adventures

Hmm..That whole thing sounds kind of shady. Why wait to tell the 'rents? If they really care about each other I don't see why they'd feel the need to wait to tell everyone.

And that proposal? Whack. Isn't that going to be fun to tell their future children about? *sigh*

Be strong, babe! Or tell them I'll plan the wedding..for a huge fee. :P

 

this just bothers me. Why the secret engagement? Why wait unti it's been two years. Joey and I had been dating for less than two years when he popped the question and no one said anything?

And the proposal... is it even a proposal. tell them to have a drive through wedding at the chapel in vegas.

And.. be strong. You are just a bridesmaid, not the MOH or the MOB. It shouldn't all fall on you. When she asks you for advice say, "i don't know nuthin about planning weddings!" ala gone with the wind.

 

Before I got married, I would probably have agreed with almost everything you said, but my husband didn't do a traditional proposal when it came down to it, and even though it won't win any prizes for romance, it amuses me to recount the story of him proposing ... in his tracksuit! It's all about the context, I think. I also expected him to ask my parents first, but it didn't work out that way, and even though my Dad might have liked to have had a chat with him first, personally it doesn't bother me much now because it's more of a cultural formality for me. And it actually bothered my husband to think that he had to ask someone else for permission rather than asking me first (which surprised me). I do think your brother got off a little easy, though, if he proposed while drunk!

Which is all to say that they've probably worked out a different dynamic in their relationship and it's difficult to say whether or not the things that bother other people about it have a more profound meaning. Maybe they want to wait 2 years before announcing it to make it seem more special and it means something for them.

However, I do agree with you about the cost of a wedding. That was one of the first things that popped into my head, too, when my brother said he was getting married!

As for planning a wedding. Dear lord, that's the fastest way to pick a fight with your new family. Buy her a subscription to a bridal magazine and make sounds of sympathy when she's all a-dither about planning and making decisions. My motto about other people's weddings is that if they stuff it up, I'm not setting myself up to be the fall person. Unless I'm being paid. A lot.

 

I went on a bit there, didn't it? *slightly embarrassed*

 

Holly/Izzy - Yah I don't see why they have to wait to tell my parents. It's not like I didn't let the cat out of the bag and hinted to mom that they were living together. What difference does it make?

Kat - Haha! You crack me up. Honestly though, thanks for sharing your opinion/thoughts. You brought up a good point about each couple having their own special somethings that have significance. Every couple is different right? I guess I never thought about it that way.

The whole asking the parents first... see I do kinda agree that the only answer that matters is the bride's... and what if her parents aren't close at all and are just awful people? In that case I don't think it's a solid rule that parents must always be asked first. That might be this case since my bro's gf's parents are kinda whack. But for me.. I have a great relationship with my parents so maybe that's why I always envisioned my future husband to be welcomed warmly by my family.

 

So what, they just discussed it and decided to get married and that's it? I mean, no offense, but your brother still should have asked her again.

I doubt they'll be able to keep it a secret till August... and seriously, I'm not sure your parents will be thrilled once they learn about it. I mean, your son was "engaged" for 6 months before he announced it to you? Oh yeah, I'm sure that'll go well.

Be strong Daphne, and good luck! :)