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Can I get some support here?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
So for those of you who don't know, Benny and I are going through a really rough time in our relationship right now. We're basically "on a break," which I know sounds totally lame, but I can't think of a better way to say what's happening. He basically dropped this huge bomb on me two weeks ago, when he told me that he was unhappy with our relationship. He feels like we have nothing in common anymore and that our lives have become very routine. Now mind you, I've been with the guy for almost 5 years now, and he's my first boyfriend. We met in college and have been dating since. If you had asked me three weeks ago how my relationship was, I would have said "wonderful, couldn't be better, it's only a matter of time now before we finally tie the knot." So you can imagine my surprise and punch-to-the-gut feeling when Benny told me all this.

I'm not going to go into all the details of our dilemma. Believe me, I've already cried my eyes out and sought the advice/comfort from my closest friends (thanks you guys!). I'd like to think I'm a reasonable person, so I've been listening to Benny, trying to understand what he's feeling. I think he's very confused right now and so I decided we both need a breather. Hence, the "on a break" status.

Now what pisses me off, is that other than my closest friends, I've been pretty much keeping this to myself. I try to keep myself busy at work (which is actually easy since I'm swamped right now) and I try to put on a smile. I haven't told my family yet, since they think we're "so solid" (to quote my mother) and I'm still hoping we can work things out. After much debating though, I knew I had to share this with my brother. After all, we're pretty close and I was there for him when he and his ex split after being together for 5-6 years. The only reason I was hesitant to tell him, was that he's in a brand spankin new relationship. Don't get me wrong, I like his new gf, but seeing the two of them all lovey dovey sometimes makes me wanna gag.

Last week he and his gf were at my house having dinner, and they invited me to join them. I decided to roll out of my bed, which was basically a heaping mess of hidden tissues, romance books, remote control and stuffed animals. At dinner my brother asked the usual, "where's Benny?" and I shrugged saying he was spending time with friends. Then after deciding to finally confide in him I added, "actually... we're sort of on a break."

See, this is the part where my brother is supposed to comfort me. To back me up and say "oh no, what happened? do you want to talk about it?" But no. What does he say? "oh really?? hmm.... *pause* well, no offense, but I kinda saw it coming, what with him going out all the time lately." Then he proceeds to talk to his gf as if that was all he needed to say on the subject.

Well now, ain't that peachy keen?

By now, I'm fuming mad. Are you kidding me? Are you seriously flippin kidding me? Excuse me, who was your shoulder to cry on when you and your ex split? Who listened to you in the wee hours of the morning trying to comfort you? Throw me a bone will ya? All I wanted was to talk to you and you basically just throw it back in my face.

You know, I can make a big list of ways I, as his little sister support him. But that's for another blog. For now I will just say that I'm hurt. For my own brother to just dismiss the subject like that when he knows how much I love Benny is just hurtful and selfish. I know he's in a new relationship, so his thoughts are 24/7 focused on his gf. But all I ask is that he step aside for two seconds and be my big brother.

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posted by Daphne @ 9:10 AM  
  • At 9:20 PM, Blogger Mormishmom said…

    I have a listening ear and I almost cried for you when I read your post today. I hope you are doing okay - all things considered - and know that Will and I think you are fabulous and we miss your cute smile!

  • At 9:13 PM, Blogger ames said…

    Guys suck!

    I'm sorry that your brother wasn't more supportive.


  • At 7:19 AM, Blogger Isabel said…

    It sucks your brother wasn't supportive, but he's a guy. I'm not saying all guys are like that though. Some will give you comfort.

  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger Holly said…

    Your brother is a punk!! Mine has done the same thing many times. He's a wonderful guy, but shoot, sometimes he needs to be smacked upside the head.

    I'm sorry about you and Benny, too. Poor Daph. You want I should karate chop him? And don't forget about MM's left nut. :P

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger Dylan said…

    Oh sweetie I'm sorry your brother wasn't supportive of you, he should've been and new relationships just get on my nerves because the people involved in the new relationship are so wrapped up in each other that they tend to forget the people that were there before the relationship started. I think you're very justified in the way you feel, be mad at him...be like Terry Clark said in her song, be all I just wanna be mad for a while.

    I'm mad with you sweetie.

    I'm sorry about Benny, I've got my fingers crossed for you though, you're a wonderful and beautiful person and if he knows what's good for him, he'll realize that. You deserve the best out there Daph and I really hope that you get it!

    Love you!

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Who Is Daphne?

Name: Daphne
Home: California, United States
About Me: I love to read, especially romance books. I love to play, especially computer games and puzzles. I love to dance, especially lindy hop. I love my family and friends.
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