| Daily Doses: |
|
| Currently Reading: |
|
| Good For My Eyes: |
Sydney Opera House |
| To Name A Few: |
|
|
| Blogs About Books: |
|
| Awesome Authors: |
|
| Good For My Ears: |
|
| When I Have Time: |
24 - Fox
Beauty and the Geek - CW
Lost - ABC
Family Guy - Fox
The Simpsons - Fox
I Love Lucy - Fox
|
|
| Feeling Guilty |
| Friday, May 09, 2008 |
Today is my dad's birthday, and it's mother's day weekend. But right now I'm totally annoyed with both of them. Horrible, I know.
Let's start with dad. Okay I've been on "vacation" all week, but I'm not really out of town. This week was supposed to be my study week, but I ended up working all day Monday/Tuesday and a little Wednesday morning. Wednesday I was pretty tired mid afternoon so I took a nap. Dad comes home at 5, sees that I'm asleep and goes "Oh you're on vacation? Why aren't you studying? When's your test again?"
Oh you did not just say that to me. What, you think that I've been bumming around all day sleeping? I'll have you know that at 7:30am I was already studying, watching 4 hour lecture videos about pensions and leases and other boring crap. You think I LIKE having to use my vacation time to study? Why would I waste my vacation time like that and then not do anything all day.
Then there's mom. So she and dad decided to take today off so they could hang out in LA for dad's birthday. Mom asks if I want to go. No thanks, I need to study, and besides, I wasn't aware of these plans. I know we're supposed to do dinner for dad's birthday, but that's it. And she proceeds to give me that "oh okay" look (but inside she's all upset that I'm not going). Hello! Would you have been upset if I was at work like a normal work Friday? I don't think so. Geez. Then she asks if I can coordinate dinner plans with my brother and his gf. I ask her if she and dad have ideas. She says the restaurants in the shopping area they are at in LA. I said okay so we'll meet you there for dinner then? She says no, they'll go home first by midafternoon.
I told her that seemed kind of a hassle to drive down then back up to LA again. So she said fine we'll just eat around our neighborhood. Okay fine by me. I relay the message to brother and gf. Dinner 7:30 not LA. Mom and dad get home in the afternoon and ask what the plan for dinner is. I said, well pick a place, I have no preference, what does dad want? Now here's typical mom response: Well whatever you kids want. Okay fine then, I'm picking Bucca Di Beppo. Mom: Oh but isn't that in Orange County? Me: Yah so? Mom: I thought you didn't want to drive far that's why you rejected my idea of dinner in LA. Me: No, I just didn't think it made sense for you to come home when we could've driven up there to meet you for dinner. Mom: Oh well, ummm Bucca? How about Woodranch? Me: Okay fine.
Then I take her to the eyebrow lady because she wants to try threading. The lady threads her eyebrows and hands her the mirror afterwards. Mom looks at it, doesn't say anything, and I pay, we leave. In the car...
Mom: So how come she didn't remove some of the hair here so it would be shaped more like this?
Me: Well if you wanted it shaped that way why didn't you say something?
Mom: Well I don't know what shape I want, I just want it to look good.
Me: Well why are you complaining about it now when we already left?
Mom: I dunno. I just assumed it's fine since you didn't say it looked bad.
Me: Yah but mom if you know what you want, just say it. That's why we pay them to do it. Like cutting your hair. You can't just say "make it look good" then complain later when she didn't layer it like you wanted.
I swear I hate her passive aggressive crap. It's like I make a decision and without having to explicity reject it, she implies that she doesn't agree with my idea. I know her game now. She says one thing, and basically she's not asking "well what do you want?" She's really saying "I need your confirmation that you agree with my idea."
Okay that's all. I'm done venting.Labels: Family, Venting |
posted by Daphne @ 5:57 PM   |
|
|
|
| Someone please buy me this book! |
| Wednesday, March 05, 2008 |
Okay I took this idea from my friend Natalie, but I seriously want to read this now.
He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I've been reading excerpts from it online, and each scenario is both funny and eye opening to me. Before I share with you the big eye opener for me (since you probably didn't hit that link anyway)... I want to preface it by saying, this is the end of my pursuit of GB. I sent him a message and a week later, even though I know he's seen it, has not replied. And I'll admit... I was feeling embarrassed, sorry for myself and feeling like I won the biggest loser contest (no, not the weight loss one). But this passage has finally helped me get over it.
The "Maybe I Don't Want to Play Games" Excuse
Dear Greg,
This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tons of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out?
Nikki
Dear Nikki,
Because we don't like it. Okay, some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? It's that simple. I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. Please don't be mad at me, Nikki. I'm not advocating that women go back to the Stone Age. I just think you might want to be realistic in how capable you are of changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature.
Or maybe you're the chosen one.
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one. We know there was a sexual revolution. (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children — sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn't make men different.
IT'S SO SIMPLE
Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading with you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be." I know it's an infuriating concept — that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he's just not that into you. (And we want you to believe you're one of the nine, ladies!) I can't say it loud enough: You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out.
HERE'S WHY THIS ONE IS HARD, by Liz
Well, it's obvious. Are you telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I don't know about you, but I find that infuriating. I was brought up to believe that hard work and good planning are the keys to making your dreams come true. I spent my life making things happen for myself. I worked hard for my career, and was quite aggressive about it. I called people, made appointments, asked for favors. I took action. But now Greg is telling us that in this situation, we are supposed to do absolutely nothing. The guys get to pick. We're just supposed to put on our little dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us. Why don't you just tie my corset too tight so I can faint in front of some man who'll scoop me out of the way just before the horse-drawn carriage runs over me? That'll get his attention.
Really, in this day and age, the hardest thing to do for many women, particularly me, is nothing. We like to scheme, make phone calls, have a plan. And I'm talking about more than just making sure our hair doesn't frizz. Most women who date, I would guess, don't have men throwing themselves at them every night of the week. Sometimes there's a long stretch during which nobody's asking us out. So when we see a guy that we feel might be a romantic possibility, it's even harder for us to take a backseat. That opportunity might not come back again for a long time.
But guess what: My way? Has sucked. Hasn't worked at all. I've never had a successful relationship with a guy that I've pursued. I'm sure there are many stories out there to the contrary. But for me, those guys end up getting back together with their ex-girlfriend, needing to take some time for themselves, or going out of town for business. Usually it doesn't even get that far. They usually just don't ever return my phone call. And let me tell you, that didn't make me feel very in control of anything.
Since I've been implementing Greg's handy-dandy "he's just not that into you" philosophy, I've been feeling surprisingly more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, are the one in control. There's no scheming and plotting. And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.
And let's not forget that my last relationship, although it lasted for five years, in the end it failed... and now people are telling me after the fact that they always felt I loved Benny more than he loved me, because I was the pursuer back in college.
But wait now, let's throw in another variable into the equation. I'm really considering signing up for an online dating thing. No not myspace, sillies, I'm talking legit stuff. i.e. Match.com or eHarmony. Now is that still considered being an aggressor?Labels: Church crush, coffee talk, Dating, Venting |
| posted by Daphne @ 9:36 PM |
|
|
|
| Another Freakin Idiot |
| Monday, December 10, 2007 |
So there's this transfer staff from the Miami office. He's originally from SoCal, and more specifically my city. He was assigned on my job a few weeks ago, and I only worked with him for about 3 days. It's his second year with the firm, so of course, he thinks he's the shit.
While having lunch one day, the team was talking about buying snacks from Costco for our audit room. He assumed that I was the person requesting the dried mangoes, because ya know, I'm filipino. I said I hate it when people assume that I love dried mangoes because of my ethnicity. We all laughed at the time, but I kinda meant what I said.
Later that day he made a comment implying that I must like Black Eyed Peas because again, I'm filipino. I said "Okay it's not funny. I meant it at lunch when I said I don't appreciate stereotypes like that, especially from people I don't know that well." Seriously, it's not that I don't have a sense of humor. It's just that there's a time and place for comments like that, and I don't think it's appropriate at work. And even more inappropriate with people you just met for the first time.
Flash forward to today. There's this all-day conference tomorrow in Dana Point, which is about 1.5 hour drive for me. This guy emailed me last week asking if I wanna carpool with him since we both live in the same city. I said sure. I sent him a reminder email to meet up at my house at 6:45am tomorrow. He said yes, followed by this...
Ok. See you tomorrow. Would you like me to bring a bag of dry mangos for you tomorrow?
Normally I would let that slide, but this really pissed me off. I replied back with... [name of douchebag], I know you don't mean harm by it, but I really take offense to comments like that. I believe I made that clear when you were here at [client]. Please refrain from saying those things to me in the future.
Okay, just as I was typing this blog he replied:
I had to put that in, but alright that's the last time. Sorry if you were offended.
I guess I'm not as pissed off, but seriously now. What is wrong with people these days? Where are we hiring these idiots from? I swear. I'm getting bitchier every day. But you know what? I'm tired of people pushing me around. Labels: Venting, Work related |
| posted by Daphne @ 6:33 PM |
|
|
|
| Spoiled |
| Tuesday, December 04, 2007 |
Spoiled is newest nickname for my new annoying 'boss'. Spoiled has one level of seniority above me. I've got a lot of pent up anger in me from November, so I have to release it before the holidays.
Dear Spoiled,
Can you please tell me why you think it's fair that it takes me about an hour to get here and I show up by 8:30 while you live about 5 miles away and you get here past 9am every fuckin day? Are you working from home in the morning? Because that's fine with me. Oh no wait, you just showed me the "Spoiled - gets a hole in one" news article from the morning paper. So I guess you're playing golf every morning while my ass gets here to work. Because that's what we're getting paid to do right?
Now I know you've had a "rough year," with all the issues on such and such job and yada yada yada, but that was when? April? May? You then took an extended break/vacation and now it's December and you still act as if you're burned out. Well excuse me, but you're not the only one who has had a rough year. Tough shit. Either shut your yap or quit already. What about the former people on this team who quit because of your shitty attitude? You think I like joining this team, trying to fill in the shoes of a "superstar senior", who happens to be a friend of mine, and then find out later the reason she quit the firm is because she couldn't stand you?
And quit promising to get work done if you can't deliver. I'm tired of hearing "Don't worry I'll take care of that..." and then from my staff "Well I didn't finish that because Spoiled said he'd take care of documenting it..." If you say you're going to handle something, handle it. And what does that even mean anyway... handle it? Are you going to discuss it with me, but then expect me to finish the documentation, or are you going to take some ownership for once and actually open an excel/word document?
You know what the problem is? You're spoiled. You've been on this job since you started so you've paid your dues right? And by now you should just be answering high level questions and let the rest of the minions do the nitty gritty work, right? Don't think I'm just pulling this out of my ass, because I'm not. You even told me you were pissed you didn't get your early promotion to manager. You know what, being on the "best job in the office" does not translate to you being the "best senior in the office." You only get early promoted if you deserve it. Do you think you deserved it? Really now.
Which brings me back to your attitude. Come on, level with me. Just tell me the truth. You don't give a shit anymore do you? Wah, look at me, I didn't make manager, this stupid firm sucks. Why bother working. Wah wah. Well they can't kick me off the team so I'm just going to play my rank card and do come and go as I please.
Stop. Complaining. You. Lazy. Tard.
Yes, you're lazy. That combined with not giving a shit really helps productivity. That explains why Daphne and the manager are busting their asses every night while you can come early, leave late every day. I'll be back for more. Don't think this is the last you've heard of me.
-Daphne
Labels: Venting, Work related |
| posted by Daphne @ 7:08 PM |
|
|
|
| Passive - Aggressive Crap |
| Monday, December 03, 2007 |
 Well I hate to start off my return to blogland (after being M.I.A. for the last two weeks) with a ranting post, but I must get this off my chest. I was supposed to go to Disneyland this past Saturday. Yes, I know I've been there about 5 times already this year but my brother, Doug, was performing that day. He and his gf are on this dance swing team and every year the team performs at the Carnation Plaza at D-land. This was my brother's first D-land performance, so naturally I wanted to come out and support him. I've known about this D-land trip for about two months now, and my other cousin Kat expressed an interest in going. I don't get to hang out  with Kat as much as I'd like to, so I was looking forward to her going. The other friends going were two other couples, so you can imagine how reluctant I'd be to go if Kat bailed out on me. Sure enough, the night before I call Kat to find out she's broke as a joke and is no longer going. Well fine, I figured I could still go anyway, and just hitch a ride from Doug. So Friday night I'm about to call Doug to ask for a ride, when suddenly I get this text message from him: "Hey can you bring me my jacket tomorrow to D-land?" Well, spit. Does that mean he thinks I'm going to still drive to D-land by myself and bring him his dang jacket? Seriously. Who does that? Have you ever seen someone drive up to the D-land parking lot by herself? Yah, and let's not forget the ridiculous parking fee (what is it now, $12?) So I give Doug a call immediately: Me: "Hey." D: "Yo, did you get my text message?" Me: "Um yah about that. I don't think I'll be going anymore." D: "Oh why not?" Me: "Well Kat isn't going anymore so I don't wanna drive there by myself." Okay stop for a sec. This is the part where he's supposed to logically say "Well, why don't I just pick you up and you can ride with us?" No. This is what happens next: D: "Oh. Hmm. Okay. *exasperated sigh* I guess I could swing by the house in the morning and get my jacket." Me: "Yah just swing by the house. Okay see you in the morning." So I was pretty much fuming mad after that call. Mad at Doug for being a selfish prick and then mad at myself for being all passive aggressive. I mean, maybe he didn't understand me and thought I didn't wanna be at the park by myself. If I had just blurted out "So can I ride with you or not?" would he have said yes? I feel like it was too late to ask since he was sorta implying that I had to drive myself to bring him his jacket. Saturday morning. Daphne wakes up extra early at 7, so she can get up and be ready in case Doug changes his mind. I'm sitting in the kitchen with my dad drinking coffee. Doug and his gf come in. He greets us then gets his jacket from his room. Okay, you'd THINK he'd see that I'm still capable of going, but does he offer me a ride? No. Not even a "Hey so are you sure you don't want to go? It would mean a lot to me if you could see our performance." Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just says okay well see you later and leaves. So basically I was having one of those days where I was just feeling sorry for myself. Again, it was very passive/aggressive on my part, and I HATE p/a behavior. I get that enough from my staff at work. Oh well, I guess when it comes to my brother, I should set the expectations low. *sigh* Labels: Doug, Venting |
| posted by Daphne @ 8:14 PM |
|
|
|
| I hate you all... |
| Wednesday, September 05, 2007 |
No not really. But I'm in a really sh*tty mood today. I've got a major deadline this Friday for my audit client and I have to get it done so I can leave for my vacation... stress-free. At least that's the goal.
Anyway, this is why I'm pissed off. *warning.... lots of rambling ahead* I'm a morning person. I know most people aren't, but I am. I get so much work done in the morning, b/c I'm awake, focused, and I always outline my list of things to do for the day. I normally pass by Starbucks before work, but I never really eat my muffin or whatever it is I have for the day. I know breakfast is the most important meal but I'm always so busy in the morning I let that muffin sit there until 3pm.
My staff however, seem to think about lunch as soon as the morning starts. Most auditors in my office eat at 11:30 to avoid the crowds, but whenever I'm busy I sometimes lose track of time. Every freakin day, around 10:30am, one of my staff will always ask "So what're we doing for lunch today?" For this particular job I'm on, we normally order food in every day. It's all paid for, so our choices aren't limited to fast food... however, we always pick the same places in the area. We normally eat Corner Bakery, CPK, El Torito, etc. And every day I tell my staff the same thing, I don't care, just pick a place, print out a menu and pass it to me so I can put my order down. Seriously, I'm not trying to be a bitchy "boss" but dude, they all know I never have time to go out to eat. I don't mind if they go out and eat, just bring me something back. But why oh why is the whole lunch selection process so difficult?
It annoys the hell out of me that this guy asks what's for lunch every single day... at freakin 10:30am! Dude, I'm still drinking my Starbucks at 10:30, how can I possibly think about lunch right now? Why don't you shut up and get back to work? The firm doesn't pay you to talk about lunch for 30 minutes every single day.
Now my dear friend Natalie knows this story, and how annoyed I get by this staff. So she IMs me at exactly 10:30 today saying "What's for lunch?" I thought, dude that's so not funny and she replies saying "LOL - Sorry, I was just trying to annoy you."
WTF, you're trying to annoy me? Why oh why? You KNOW how much I can't stand that question. So I proceed to tell her that she's my friend and I love her to death, but if she were sitting next to me at the moment I woulda throttled her. The moment I start telling her this... my staff blurts out "So what's for lunch today?" At precisely 10:35am (he's off by 5 minutes today). OMG, I'm seriously going to shoot all of you. I hate you all.
Anyway, I guess Natalie felt bad about pissing me off so she sent me an email with the subject "SURPRISE" and the following picture...
 Natalie, if you're reading this... you KNOW I don't hate you, and I was just annoyed and I needed to vent. I'm sorry. Hope you forgive me. And it's all good now b/c you sent me Zack Efron, who is FREAKIN HOT. Thanks. I lub u babe. Just don't ever ask me what's for lunch again. Please.Labels: Natalie, Venting, Work related |
| posted by Daphne @ 11:31 AM |
|
|
|
| Too much alone time |
| Tuesday, March 13, 2007 |
I haven't seen Benny since Valentines Day. I've called him twice since then, but both times he was out of town. He forgot our 5 year anniversary, and hasn't tried to contact me since. Despite all this, I've been trying to move forward with my life. Each day I keep myself busy with work, chatting with friends, exercising, and reading. Because of all this crap I'm going through, there are times when I just want to be alone. I don't want my mom asking me why I'm not seeing Benny that weekend, and I most definitely don't want to see my brother and his new gf acting so lovey dovey. Being alone is good sometimes, but it's also the only time I allow myself to think about Benny and therefore become depressed.
This is my fourth consecutive week out of town. My first two weeks I was out here by myself. I thought last week and this week would be better with my whole team out. As it turns out, they all want to do their own thing after work, be it study, work out, buy some food to bring back to their room.
So here I am, in my hotel room (I've hopped to four different hotels in four weeks) watching American Idol. I don't know why, but I just watched a performance where some girl sang the words "I've been missing you," and I just lost it. I thought about how much I miss him and the tears just started coming out. I just began to sob, not just a few tears sliding down my cheek, I'm talking about crying so hard you're taking shuddering breaths.
I wish I weren't alone right now. I've had enough of alone time. I wish I had all my cousins here, my gal pals, or just a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe I should just stop listening to music with lyrics about being lonely or missing someone.Labels: Benny, Venting |
| posted by Daphne @ 9:07 PM |
|
|
|
| Can I get some support here? |
| Thursday, February 22, 2007 |
So for those of you who don't know, Benny and I are going through a really rough time in our relationship right now. We're basically "on a break," which I know sounds totally lame, but I can't think of a better way to say what's happening. He basically dropped this huge bomb on me two weeks ago, when he told me that he was unhappy with our relationship. He feels like we have nothing in common anymore and that our lives have become very routine. Now mind you, I've been with the guy for almost 5 years now, and he's my first boyfriend. We met in college and have been dating since. If you had asked me three weeks ago how my relationship was, I would have said "wonderful, couldn't be better, it's only a matter of time now before we finally tie the knot." So you can imagine my surprise and punch-to-the-gut feeling when Benny told me all this.
I'm not going to go into all the details of our dilemma. Believe me, I've already cried my eyes out and sought the advice/comfort from my closest friends (thanks you guys!). I'd like to think I'm a reasonable person, so I've been listening to Benny, trying to understand what he's feeling. I think he's very confused right now and so I decided we both need a breather. Hence, the "on a break" status.
Now what pisses me off, is that other than my closest friends, I've been pretty much keeping this to myself. I try to keep myself busy at work (which is actually easy since I'm swamped right now) and I try to put on a smile. I haven't told my family yet, since they think we're "so solid" (to quote my mother) and I'm still hoping we can work things out. After much debating though, I knew I had to share this with my brother. After all, we're pretty close and I was there for him when he and his ex split after being together for 5-6 years. The only reason I was hesitant to tell him, was that he's in a brand spankin new relationship. Don't get me wrong, I like his new gf, but seeing the two of them all lovey dovey sometimes makes me wanna gag.
Last week he and his gf were at my house having dinner, and they invited me to join them. I decided to roll out of my bed, which was basically a heaping mess of hidden tissues, romance books, remote control and stuffed animals. At dinner my brother asked the usual, "where's Benny?" and I shrugged saying he was spending time with friends. Then after deciding to finally confide in him I added, "actually... we're sort of on a break."
See, this is the part where my brother is supposed to comfort me. To back me up and say "oh no, what happened? do you want to talk about it?" But no. What does he say? "oh really?? hmm.... *pause* well, no offense, but I kinda saw it coming, what with him going out all the time lately." Then he proceeds to talk to his gf as if that was all he needed to say on the subject.
Well now, ain't that peachy keen?
By now, I'm fuming mad. Are you kidding me? Are you seriously flippin kidding me? Excuse me, who was your shoulder to cry on when you and your ex split? Who listened to you in the wee hours of the morning trying to comfort you? Throw me a bone will ya? All I wanted was to talk to you and you basically just throw it back in my face.
You know, I can make a big list of ways I, as his little sister support him. But that's for another blog. For now I will just say that I'm hurt. For my own brother to just dismiss the subject like that when he knows how much I love Benny is just hurtful and selfish. I know he's in a new relationship, so his thoughts are 24/7 focused on his gf. But all I ask is that he step aside for two seconds and be my big brother.Labels: Benny, Family, Venting |
| posted by Daphne @ 9:10 AM |
|
|
|
|
|
