So I tried Pinkberry for the first time this month and have already been back about three more times in less than two weeks. Not because I love it, but because I seem to be hanging out with different people who have each suggested going there. If you're wondering what Pinkberry is-think trendy Golden Spoon that serves tart yogurt, in a store with bright colored plastic chairs and modern decor, and shelves of useless asian household items that look like toys. For inexplicable reasons, I am drawn to this place, and it's driving me nuts that I'm contributing to the growing success of this chain, when I can think of several reasons why this place is sorta lame.
Let me start off by saying that I actually like the yogurt. It's a unique taste- sorta tart, but cool and refreshing. Or if you wanna go by the description on their website... it's "soft swirls of chilly bliss with a distinct pouty peak." It's also light for a dessert (half a cup is about 70 calories). You can eat a large and not feel like you've just consumed a double fudge chocolate cheesecake. Plus the toppings are pleasing to the eye- kiwis, strawberries, bananas, etc. They make it look fresh, but who knows, they can be out of a frozen bag. You can also put captain crunch, granola, fruity pebbles, and almonds. And it's simple- three flavors of yogurt to choose from: original, coffee, and green tea. But here's where it starts to score negative points. You'd think coffee flavored yogurt would taste like it sounds right? Not at Pinkberry. It's still tart. Wtf? Tart coffee? I'm sorry, but that just goes against nature.
Try some coffee Pinkberry. I'm telling you, it's fun. It's like at first you reject it because the concept is so freakin nasty. Then you keep tasting it, as if you want to reconfirm your original assessment, that yes it's freakin nasty. By the third lick, you're half laughing half cringing because the taste is so freakin nasty but not as bad anymore.
Anyway, let's talk about the price. How much does a cup of "chilly bliss" served by a smart-mouthed teenager cost you? I'd say $5/$6 easily. Here's why. A small size is (off the top of my head) $2.50, but each topping is $0.95. Jump to a medium and it's $3.50. The best deal would be the $4.95 medium size which includes three toppings. I went there after lunch today with two coworkers, and we spent $16. Isn't that sad? When I was given the total I did my normal Daphne thing and joked to the cashier saying they were criminals. "Yet people like you keep coming back all the time and we keep growing." Umm okay, apparently homie didn't want to reciprocate the humor in that. I can't believe I got owned by a Pinkberry loser.
My staff is already suggesting we repeat today's Pinkberry adventure tomorrow. He's so obsessed that he even looked 'em up to see if they are franchising. In case you're wondering, no they're not. But I've been thinking.... is this just another fad? Like boba? I think boba died around the time that it was no longer just an "asian thing to do." And remember Krispy Kreme? I swear, once that was brought over to Southern California, we just butchered it. Leave it to Southern Californians to make foods like smoothies (Jamba Juice), donuts (Krispy Kreme), and yogurt trendy. Oh and FYI, Pinkberry is currently only in California and New York. Again, two trendy locations, where you not only have to be trendy in what clothes you wear, car you drive, or music you listen to, but also food. Because God forbid you're caught walking around the shopping district drinking a Juice it Up instead of Jamba Juice.
Okay I took this idea from my friend Natalie, but I seriously want to read this now. He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I've been reading excerpts from it online, and each scenario is both funny and eye opening to me. Before I share with you the big eye opener for me (since you probably didn't hit that link anyway)... I want to preface it by saying, this is the end of my pursuit of GB. I sent him a message and a week later, even though I know he's seen it, has not replied. And I'll admit... I was feeling embarrassed, sorry for myself and feeling like I won the biggest loser contest (no, not the weight loss one). But this passage has finally helped me get over it.
The "Maybe I Don't Want to Play Games" Excuse
Dear Greg, This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tons of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out? Nikki
Dear Nikki, Because we don't like it. Okay, some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? It's that simple. I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. Please don't be mad at me, Nikki. I'm not advocating that women go back to the Stone Age. I just think you might want to be realistic in how capable you are of changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature. Or maybe you're the chosen one.
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one. We know there was a sexual revolution. (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children — sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn't make men different.
IT'S SO SIMPLE Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading with you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be." I know it's an infuriating concept — that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he's just not that into you. (And we want you to believe you're one of the nine, ladies!) I can't say it loud enough: You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out.
HERE'S WHY THIS ONE IS HARD, by Liz Well, it's obvious. Are you telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I don't know about you, but I find that infuriating. I was brought up to believe that hard work and good planning are the keys to making your dreams come true. I spent my life making things happen for myself. I worked hard for my career, and was quite aggressive about it. I called people, made appointments, asked for favors. I took action. But now Greg is telling us that in this situation, we are supposed to do absolutely nothing. The guys get to pick. We're just supposed to put on our little dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us. Why don't you just tie my corset too tight so I can faint in front of some man who'll scoop me out of the way just before the horse-drawn carriage runs over me? That'll get his attention. Really, in this day and age, the hardest thing to do for many women, particularly me, is nothing. We like to scheme, make phone calls, have a plan. And I'm talking about more than just making sure our hair doesn't frizz. Most women who date, I would guess, don't have men throwing themselves at them every night of the week. Sometimes there's a long stretch during which nobody's asking us out. So when we see a guy that we feel might be a romantic possibility, it's even harder for us to take a backseat. That opportunity might not come back again for a long time. But guess what: My way? Has sucked. Hasn't worked at all. I've never had a successful relationship with a guy that I've pursued. I'm sure there are many stories out there to the contrary. But for me, those guys end up getting back together with their ex-girlfriend, needing to take some time for themselves, or going out of town for business. Usually it doesn't even get that far. They usually just don't ever return my phone call. And let me tell you, that didn't make me feel very in control of anything. Since I've been implementing Greg's handy-dandy "he's just not that into you" philosophy, I've been feeling surprisingly more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, are the one in control. There's no scheming and plotting. And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.
And let's not forget that my last relationship, although it lasted for five years, in the end it failed... and now people are telling me after the fact that they always felt I loved Benny more than he loved me, because I was the pursuer back in college.
But wait now, let's throw in another variable into the equation. I'm really considering signing up for an online dating thing. No not myspace, sillies, I'm talking legit stuff. i.e. Match.com or eHarmony. Now is that still considered being an aggressor?
I don't remember if I've blogged about my friend Alex before. He's a really cool staff in my office that everyone seems to know, even if they've never worked with him. Like me. I've never worked directly with him, and sadly, don't think my schedule will allow me to in the future. He's super hilarious and always makes those comments that are borderline funny and OMG-WTF-I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that-at-work.
Let me briefly set up the premise before I share our conversation. We're chatting online, talking about people at work who we consider true friends, or just coworkers, and nothing more. He jokes with me, saying I'm just a coworker, not a friend. I told him that considering he knows a lot of personal stuff about me I wouldn't normally share with anyone, and we haven't even worked together, I think of him as a friend.
Me: "I wouldn't have told you all that stuff about me after Monday's dance lesson if I didn't think of you as a good friend." (We're taking swing dancing classes in case you're wondering)
Alex: "haha, yea...well i feel good that you told me...i guess that means that you trust me...even though I told people that we danced...VERTICALLY!!!"
Me: "Vertically? Huh? I don't get it." (I'm thinking maybe he said that on purpose?)
Alex: "What kind of 'dance moves' would one do while being vertical...?"
Alex: "Come on.... you got this...."
*snort*.....I guess he didn't say it on purpose
Me: "Sweetie."
*pause* Me: "I think you mean horizontally."
*pause*
Alex: HAHAHA
Alex: "You are correct my friend...wow, that ruins the whole joke."
Me: "Yah... and you had it in all caps too."
I'm tellin ya. Alex is awesome. Even if he tells people we did the vertical mambo.
(Note: conversation copied and pasted from my chat window, with edits to correct spelling [his, not mine] and punctuation)
Speakin of dancing... Alex sent me this video this morning. I normally don't laugh at this kind of stuff, but most people think this type of thing is funny. So here ya go. If you enjoy it, great.. Daphne showed it to you... if not... it's Alex, not me.
My good buddy Siao and I were talking about dating and how it's so much harder to be the guy asking a girl out. You gotta give some guys props out there- the ones who at least have some courage. I mean, they put themselves out there, and totally take a risk at being rejected. I know a lot of times we girls don't even give the guy a chance. Yes, we have every right to say "no," it happens. But I think a mistake that some guys make is that when they finally do hear a "yes" response, they develop the ick factor.
What is the ick factor? It's the qualities that make you (the guy) look desperate, and slightly creepy. Let me give you an example. I knew this guy in college named George. He was a nice guy, able to carry conversation, and was pretty smart. The problem was that he hadn't had a girlfriend/date in a long time, and it was all he would ever talk about. The guy was always pointing out cute girls to me, but when I suggested he talk to them, he never would. Oh brother. One day he tells me he asked a girl from one of his classes out and she said yes. Okay, now this was promising. I thought maybe there's hope for him after all. But what does he do for their first date? Takes the girl to Disneyland, treats her to one of the fancy overpriced restaurants there, and gets her like a dozen roses. Yup. Ick factor. There it is.
Needless to say, the girl never requested a second date, and George was scratching his head wondering what happened and what he did wrong. Now before I dive futher, let me point out that I am not a dating expert. I'm a total newbie when it comes to dating. But I am a girl. Siao and I discussed this at length, he giving his perspective as a guy, me as a girl. It's easier said than done, but here are some tips I think might help guys out there like this:
1) Be confident. Girls can always tell when you lack confidence. I once had a guy ask me out and before I could explain my answer he said "It's a no huh? Is it because you don't think I'm attractive?" Umm... wtf?! That changed my tentative no answer to a definite no. So be confident. How do you develop confidence? Well, it helps when you know how much you have to offer someone and you know that a girl's "no" just means they are missing out.
2) If a girl says yes, don't freak her out by overdoing it. This means keeping the first date casual. Going all out kinda makes you look like you're so grateful someone said yes to you that you're desperately trying to hold on to it, as opposed to getting to know the girl a little more. Does this mean you can't give flowers? No, of course not. Just don't overdo it. So this will vary depending on the type of girl. The fancier the atmosphere, the more tense the date tends to get. I would keep it casual as much as possible, to allow more time to chat and be relaxed.
3) Follow up on her interests, but again, don't go overboard. I know this guy who has a bit of ick factor in him... he was in love with this girl who he knew loved stuffed animals. So what did he do? (true story, btw) He made her a teddy bear from scratch. Like literally learned how to sew, bought stuffing, etc. and tried to be his own "build-a-bear" workshop. I saw his bear project once, it was just the bear head, and omg it was creepy. I can't believe how much time/money he spent making that bear. So if a girl says she likes chocolate, okay fine you can buy her a small box of chocolate. But the minute you do anything that is out of the way, it's obvious you're either in love with the girl or just trying too hard. Save those kind of gifts for later as your relationship progresses.
4) Keep an open mind and be sociable. Most guys I know with the Ick Factor have this in common... they only go to social events when they know most of the people there or if they know a cute/hot girl will be there. This is a big no no. Why? Because you never know who you'll meet and how far networking can get you. So what if you didn't meet a cute girl that night; you might have met someone else, a potential friend who then invites you to something else where you'll meet more people. It's a domino effect. You never want to limit yourself to the same places with familiar faces, otherwise you won't ever meet anyone new.
So there you have it. I could probably go on and on, but these are just the basic points that came to my mind when I was talking with Siao. I don't think many guys will be seeing this, but it's also a good reminder for us girls. It can sorta work the same way for us I guess. For me, I'm working on number 4, trying to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. So if you know someone struggling with Ick Factors, this might be something to think about.
Name: Daphne Home: California, United States About Me: I love to read, especially romance books. I love to play, especially computer games and puzzles. I love to dance, especially lindy hop. I love my family and friends. See my complete profile
