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Why do I torture myself?
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Every day I check his myspace. Why? I dunno, I'm stupid, I'm psycho, I'm not over it yet. And each time I do it, I just know it's going to upset me. So again, I ask myself, why do I keep doing this? Well, simple. It's because I want to see who is leaving him comments. I want to torture myself by seeing that he's got plans to go clubbing or whatever on the weekend. I torture myself by seeing random girls with skanky looking pictures and profiles set to "private" leave comments on his page. I torture myself by thinking of him talking to these girls, laughing with these girls, dancing with these girls. God, I'm pathetic. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm sad. Like I've lost my best friend. I know I'm being unfair. It's like I want to move on, but I don't want him to be with anyone else. I remember saying I wanted to be friends down the road. Now that I think back on it... I probably meant... "I want to remain friends.. as long as you're not dating anyone new."

Is it possible for exes to be friends down the road? I used to say yes, but right now I'm not so sure.


posted by Daphne @ 10:56 PM  
  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger Isabel said…

    I never could be friends with any of my exes. It just hurt too much. One ex would play mind games on me. I'd move on and suddenly he wanted me back.

    Some people can be friends with ex though. I guess to each their own.

    You're not psycho. You're not stupid. What you're feeling is normal.

  • At 8:26 AM, Blogger Charm School Reject said…

    I MySpace Stalk my baby's daddy's friends to see if he has a MySpace (so far no) and see what's going on in his life so I can fuel the flames of my anger and burning hatred towards him.

    You're completely normal.

    Don't worry.

    If it makes you feel any better, most of the "hot girls" on MySpace are spam accounts

  • At 2:54 PM, Blogger Holly said…

    Why do you say you aren't being fair? You spent five years of your life with this man. It's only natural that you'd still feel a connection (and a sense of ownership) towards him.

    It wasn't until my divorce became final that I stopped stalking the RB like that (and if you remember, we'd been separated 3 years at that point). It'll get easier babe, but don't be so hard on yourself.

    I think it IS possible to be friends with your ex, but don't try to make it happen too soon.

    Love you bunches.

  • At 6:56 PM, Blogger Jazz said…

    I'm so sorry your going through this babe! I really wish it were easier. But to tell you the honest truth? It is to each their own, but I don't think you can ever really be friends with an ex. Not unless you were great friends, dated for only a little and realized you were better as friends. But you two dated for so long. But then that's just what I think.

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Name: Daphne
Home: California, United States
About Me: I love to read, especially romance books. I love to play, especially computer games and puzzles. I love to dance, especially lindy hop. I love my family and friends.
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